It may have been years since the breakup. You may have moved on to a new relationship. And your new relationship may be absolutely perfect in every way.
But sometimes, you still find yourself thinking about your ex. You find yourself thinking about the amazing memories you had together. You find yourself thinking about the way you felt when you were with your ex. You find your thinking about the time when you teased each other, when you made faces together, when you made inside jokes, when you kissed each other goodnight, or maybe even thinking about how you made love to each other.
And you start to question yourself, why do I still think about my ex?
You think to yourself,
“It’s been so long/I have moved on to a new relationship but I still think about my ex. Does it mean that what I had with my ex was special? Does it mean my new relationship isn’t as good as what I had with my ex?”
Fret not. Because the reason you are still thinking about your ex is probably harmless and nothing to worry about. The most likely reason you are thinking about your ex is that some emotion you are feeling right now reminded you of the time you felt the same emotion with your ex.
Here’s a list of reasons you may still think about your ex and what you should do about it.
1. Something Reminded You of Your Ex and Your Past Relationship
Like I said above, the most likely reason you still think about your ex is because an emotion or feeling you are currently experiencing reminds you of a similar emotion or feeling you experiences with your ex. According to this study, we are likely to remember positive and negative memories when we experience the same emotions.
So, if you are feeling the same emotions as before in your new relationship (whether it is positive or negative), then there is a good chance it may remind you of your ex. You may think about what happened in your previous relationship that elicited the same emotion or feelings. And that thought may lead to a chain of thoughts about your ex and your past relationship.
2. Your ex had a strong impact on your life.
Sometimes you miss a person just because they taught you a lot of things or because they had a strong impact on your life. Your ex may have taught you a lot about relationships, about life or maybe even about your career.
If your ex had an impact on your life, it’s natural to think about them or miss them occasionally or when you find yourself in situations where you use the lessons your ex taught you.
3. You genuinely Miss Your Ex and Want Them Back
In some cases, you may still miss your ex even though it has been a long time or even if you are in a new relationship. Maybe you feel that you had something special with your ex and it’s very difficult to find the same connection with someone else. Maybe you feel that the breakup was a mistake and you and your ex should try to get back together.
If that’s the case, here’s are a few resources that will help you
Find Out Your Chances Of Getting Your Ex Back – Quiz [Highly Recommended]
4. You are lonely, and you miss being in a relationship
One reason you may still think about your ex even though it has been a long time since the breakup is that you are just lonely. You may just miss being in a relationship and the intimacy and security that comes with a relationship.
When you miss your past relationship, you will think about your ex and all the good times you had with them. You may even long for them or start wishing that they were with you right now. It doesn’t necessarily mean you should try get them back or it’s a good idea to call or text them.
To figure out if getting back with your ex is the right option for you, Read Should I Get Back With My Ex? – 6 Steps To Find Out For Sure
Does My Ex Also Think About Me and Miss Me?
If it has been a while since the breakup (more than six months), then chances are your ex doesn’t think about you or miss you. But if your breakup was recent, then there is a good chance your ex still thinks about you and misses you. Note that it does not necessarily mean that your ex will come back or that they want you back.
Here are some signs that your ex misses you,
- They Reach Out To You Often
- They Stay In Touch With Your Family or Friends
- They Are Excited To Hear From You
Read More About Signs Of Your Ex Missing You.
What To Do if you are still thinking about your ex?
1. Understand that thinking about your ex does not necessarily mean you miss them.
Listen, just because you are thinking about your ex occasionally, doesn’t mean you miss them. When you miss someone, you long for them. You wish they were with you. You wish you could do the things you could do before.
When you think about your ex, you are probably reminiscing about the good times or thinking about the mistakes you made in the past. If you are just thinking about the past, it’s just a memory and it doesn’t necessarily mean you want your ex back in your life.
How Long Is It Okay to Miss Your Ex?
It’s okay to miss your ex badly for two weeks to two months. But as time goes by, the amount of time you miss your ex should reduce . After a month or two, you should start thinking clearly and your attention should shift from your ex to other things in your life. Things such as your friends, your family, career goals and health goals etc. After about six months, you may till miss your ex occasionally but it shouldn’t bother you or interfere with your life. After about a year or two, the thought of your ex may still come in your head once in a while and it may make you feel bad, but you will probably just reminisce and let it go in a few minutes.
Read More – Why Do People Miss Their Exes?
How Long Is It Okay To Still Think About Your Ex?
You may think about your ex occasionally for the rest of your life. So it’s completely normal if the thought of your ex pops up in your head occasionally. But if you find yourself constantly thinking about your ex or even obsessing over your ex, then it’s a cause of concern.
Is It Okay To Check Up On My Ex on Social Media When I Think About Them?
If enough time has passed since the breakup, and you are just curious how your ex is doing, then it’s okay to check on your ex on social media. But be cautious not to obsess over them. You should be mindful of your thoughts and intentions. Don’t check up on your ex if you are unsure where this urge is coming from.
2. If you are in a new relationship, it’s probably best not to share your thoughts about your ex to your partner.
If your new relationship is going well and you still think about your ex sometimes, it’s probably not a good idea to share that with your new boyfriend or girlfriend. The fact is, it’s normal to think about your ex sometimes and sharing that information with your new partner may cause unnecessary turbulence in your new relationship.
If you are sure, you are not obsessing over your ex and you don’t want your ex back in your life, then you are not doing anything wrong by thinking about your ex occasionally and there is nothing to feel guilty about.
On the other hand, if you are obsessing over your ex, you still have strong feelings for your ex and you constantly think about getting them back, then you should be honest with your new boyfriend or girlfriend about your thoughts and consider ending the relationship.
Is it okay to think about your ex when having sex with your new partner or while masturbating?
If you are in a new relationship and you still think about your ex while having sex or while masturbating, then it’s a sign that you are not sexually satisfied in your new relationship, and you should probably talk about it with your partner. Consider getting therapy, speaking to a coach or getting couples counseling with your new partner.
3. If you are sure that what you had with your ex was special, it may be worth it to reach out again.
Lastly, if you and your ex had something special, then it may be a good idea to reach out to your ex and figure out if getting back together is a good idea.
We conducted a study, and we found a lot of people end up getting back with their ex even after a year of staying apart. While the percentage of people who do so are less, it is still possible to get your ex back even after years. In fact, you and your ex may have grown a lot since the breakup, and you may end up back together in a much healthier relationship than before. Here are a few resources that will help you do just that.