So, you are wondering if your ex still misses you. Because you, sure as heck, still miss your ex and think about them.
Well, my dear reader, you are going to find out in this article the answer to that question. But before you try to find out whether your ex misses you, let’s first discuss why you feel the urge to know that.
Why do you need to know if your ex misses you?
1. You want your ex back and you hope if your ex misses you, they will come back.
Listen, if you and your ex just broke up (less than two months ago), then there is a good chance your ex still misses you and thinks about you. But your ex missing you doesn’t really mean they will come back or that you can get them back.
Whether or not you can get your ex back depends on a lot of factors. But before you go about trying to win them back, I recommend you shift your focus from getting your ex back to getting your ex back in a healthy long-lasting relationship. Don’t think about getting your ex back quickly, think about getting your ex back permanently. After all, there is no point in getting your ex back if you can’t keep them.
To give you some numbers, we conducted a study and found that out of 30% of people who get their ex back, 15% breakup again. So, if you want your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend to come back, you should strive to keep them.
How to do that? Well, we teach a lot of that for free on this website. Check out the resources below.
Recommended – Find Out Chances of Getting Your Ex Back with This Quiz [Highly Accurate]
2. You want to know if you were important to your ex.
If your ex misses you, does it mean that you were important in their life? Does it means that what you had was special? That your love wasn’t just one sided? That you made an impact on their life? That you were someone valuable to them?
And if they don’t miss you, does it mean that the relationship you had with them was a sham? Does it mean that you meant nothing to your ex? And by extension, does it mean that you are not a valuable person? That you are not a valuable partner?
Sometimes, we define our value by what other people think about us. And it goes without saying that we care about what our exes think about us. After all, they knew us intimately. And if they still miss us, then that shows that we have value.
A research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology that analyzed 52 studies involving 47000 participants found that positive social relationships, social support and social acceptance help shape the development of self-esteem in people over time across ages 4 to 76. The authors also found a significant effect in the reverse direction.
In other words, a lot of people associate their self esteem and self-worth with their social relationships. And in particular, to their romantic relationships. When the relationship ends, you may start looking at signs of your ex missing you, or try to figure out what your ex thinks about you to define your worth or self-esteem.
But that’s hardly the best way to define your worth or your value. Consider the following scenarios..
- Your ex may just be a narcissist and they may have just been using you all this time only to discard you when they are done with you.
- Your ex may have never fully developed an emotional connection with you (despite your best efforts) because they have an avoidant attachment style.
- Your ex may just be a very vindictive or a very mean person and they may go out of their way to not show you any signs that they miss you or that you were very important to them.
- Your ex may have loved and valued you at one point of time. But they got over it, moved on don’t think about or miss you anymore.
- Your ex may miss you just because they are lonely and they miss being in a relationship. It doesn’t necessarily mean they value you as a person or that they love you.
In many cases, whether an ex misses you says more about them and the way they perceived the relationship than it says about you and your value.
So, if you are hoping that your ex missing you will make you feel better, or that it will help you feel more confident about yourself, then take a step back and think again.
Jennifer Crocker, PhD, a professor and Ohio Eminent Scholar in Social Psychology at Ohio State University conducted a study on 600 college students and found that people who based their self-esteem on external sources tend to have some negative mental health consequences.
For example, if you base your self-esteem on what your ex thinks about you, then you are going to feel extremely bad when your ex says or does something that shows they don’t care about you.
Instead of waiting for your ex to give you value, start valuing yourself. According to Crocker, it’s better to base your self-esteem on internal values. Values such as being virtuous or having a high moral standard.
It’s okay to wonder if your ex misses you. And I will get to the signs of your ex missing you in just a moment. But before doing that, I wanted you think for a moment of your reasons for wanting to know this. And maybe reflect if you depend on your ex to feel valued or to feel loved. Because if you are depending on your ex missing you to feel valued, to feel confident, to have a high self-esteem; then you are doing yourself a disservice.
If that’s you, then I highly recommend you start no contact with your ex and work on improving your self-esteem, your self-worth and try your best to heal from the breakup. Even if you want your ex back, you need to take some time away from your ex to heal and become someone you can be proud of. Start defining your self-esteem based on your internal values and not on what your ex thinks about you. And only try getting back with them if you think there is a potential for a healthy and long lasting relationship with your ex back.
So how do you know that your ex misses you?
So after that rant, we finally get to the signs. If your ex shows any of the signs below, then there is a good chance they still miss you and think about you.
Signs Your Ex Misses You and Thinks About You
1.They Reach Out to you Occasionally
The easiest and most obvious sign that your ex misses you is if they reach out to you occasionally.
This is, of course, assuming they are not reaching out to you because they have to.
For example, if your ex is reaching out to you to pick up their clothes from the house or if they are they are asking something related to co-parenting your children, then they are reaching out to you because they have to. And that’s not a sign that they miss you.
But if your ex is reaching out to you just to chat, to ask you how you are or to share something that happened to them, then they are probably doing it because they miss you.
2. They Check Your Social Media Posts Regularly (or Comment on Them)
This sign is again, quite obvious. If your ex is checking your posts or stories on social media such as Facebook, Instagram, snap-chat etc, then there is a good chance they miss you. If your ex likes your stories or comments regularly, then that also means they miss you.
3. They keep in touch with your family or friends (and ask them about you)
If your ex keeps in touch with your friends or family and asks them about you, then it’s a sign that your ex still thinks about you and probably misses you. But again, it doesn’t mean that they want to get back together.
4. The breakup was recent
If you and your ex broke up recently, then there is a good chance your ex still misses you and thinks about your often. The fact is most people just don’t move on from a breakup so easily. If your relationship with your ex was meaningful, then there is a good chance your ex still misses you or thinks about you for months after the breakup. We conducted a study and found that most people don’t move on from a breakup until it’s been six months.
But again, just because your ex misses you or thinks about you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they will want to get back together. Like I said before, getting back together in a healthy relationship means considering a lot of factors (including your neediness and desperation), making the right moves (with confidence), and hoping for the best. Check out the following articles to help you guide through getting your ex back.
5. Your Ex’s reaction when you reach out to them.
The biggest sign that your ex misses you is if your ex is excited or happy to hear from you when you reach out to them.
But wouldn’t reaching out to my ex break no contact? Wouldn’t it make me look needy or desperate?
At Ex Back Permanently, we recommend a direct and honest approach to try to get your ex back if you miss them, want them back and are sure that the relationship with your ex has potential.
The approach consists of doing no contact for a while and reaching out to your ex whenever you are ready.
It comes as no surprise that when our clients reach out to their ex after a period of no contact, after they’ve done significant self-improvement and with a well crafted message, they hear back from their ex excited and sometimes even claiming that their ex missed them.
Here are a few of the messages our clients received back from their ex after they reached out to them..
“I am so happy to hear from you again and I am so proud of all the progress you’ve made. I’ve missed you too and I would love to catch up.”
“Haha. Thank you. Yes, let’s get on a call today evening.”
“It took me a while to write this reply because there was so much in your email to process. I kept nodding along when I read your email and even cried a little. I’ve missed you too and think about you often. I would love to chat.”
So, when you get a reply like this from your ex, it’s an obvious sign that they miss you too and probably have strong feelings for you.
I would go on to say that this is the most important sign of your ex missing you to look out for if you are trying to win your ex back.
After all, if you are trying to start something new with your ex and get back in a healthy relationship, then it’s very important how you both heal from the breakup, grow as a person, and then reconnect. And a positive response from an ex (such as the one above) shows that you are on the right path.
To understand the process of texting your ex after a period of self-improvement, read these articles.
If my ex misses me, does it also mean they love me?
No, your ex may miss you or think about you occasionally even after years of the breakup. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they still love you. It could mean that your ex simply misses the good thing in the relationship or that they are lonely.
If my ex misses me, does it also mean they want to get back together?
No, if your ex misses you, it doesn’t mean they want to get back together. Missing someone is normal after a breakup but people don’t usually get back together unless they see a very good reason to do so. Check out the below articles to understand why people get back together.
If you are missing your ex boyfriend or your ex girlfriend after a breakup, it’s because you are a human being. Human beings have a tendency to miss their loved ones when they are away from them. It helps to understand why you miss your ex and what you can do to stop missing your ex or at least reduce the intensity of missing your ex.
How Long Does It Take For an Ex To Miss You?
If you give your ex time and space (by cutting contact with them), then there is a good chance that your ex will start missing you within a week or two. But just because your ex misses you doesn’t necessarily mean they will come back or that they will take you back.
How Long Does It Take For An Ex To Come Back?
In our study, we found that most couples get back together within 1-6 months of breaking up. But note that only 30% of people got back together and only 15% of them stayed together over the long term.
If you find out your chances of getting your ex back, I recommend you take this quiz that gives you an accurate assessment.
Can I Make My Ex Miss Me? If Yes, How?
The best way to make your ex miss you is to remove yourself from their life. If you keep texting them, calling them, or stalking them on social media; your ex will never get the chance to miss you. You only miss someone when they are not in your life.
Do not try to manipulate your ex into missing you because that might backfire. Moreover, manipulation will not help you get your ex back in a healthy and long lasting relationship.
Recommended Reading – How To Make Your Ex Miss You Without Looking Like a Fool
A lot of people want to know if their ex misses them because they associate their self-worth with what their ex thinks of them. Knowing that your ex misses you can make you feel like you were valuable in your ex’s life. But whether or not your ex misses you doesn’t really define your value. You do. So instead of focusing on your ex, it’s better to focus on yourself and use this time to heal and grow to become a better person with better values.
If you are looking for signs of your ex missing you because you hope to get them back, then the above signs should give you some idea. But instead of searching for signs, it’s better to focus on healing from the breakup and grow from it. In our experience, looking for signs does not really help you get your ex back in a healthy relationship. Self-improvement does. So check out other resources on our website to help you increase your chances of getting your ex back permanently.