Note: This is an old article that has not been updated for a while. Read my new article that covers over 33 situation and analyzes how each sign affects your chances of reconciliation.
About a month ago, I wrote an article about the signs that mean your ex still likes you (or probably even love you). But as I mentioned in the article, even if they do still love you, it doesn’t necessary mean that they want to get back together.
When your ex is thinking about getting back together, they will react completely differently. Here are a few of the signs that show that your ex is thinking about getting back together. As in the last article, I will follow it with a small section on what you should do to increase your chances of getting your ex back.
1. Talking About The Future
When your ex talks about their future with you in it, then this is a sign that they have been thinking about reconciliation. It means your ex still imagines their future with you in it. Your ex expects you to get back together with them in the near future.
What you should do?
Reciprocate. Act like you also imagine a future with them. This is a desirable behaviour and you should reward it. Of course, you have to find the fine line between rewarding them and becoming a creepy overly attached ex. For example, suppose they say something like
“I think it will be cool next year when we will both have finished college and have more time to hang out with each other”
An appropriate response will be.
“Yeah, it will be fun. I am looking forward to it.”
An inappropriate response will be.
“Yeah. Maybe we can even get married at that time and start planning to have children.”
2. Talking About What Went Wrong In The Relationship
Notice, I said talk about the relationship. Not blame. After a breakup, exes always talk about what went wrong try to blame each other for relationship failure. You can understand the difference between someone genuinely wanting to figure out what went wrong so they can improve their future relationships and someone who just wants to blame their ex just to make themselves feel better.
What you should do?
Be sincere. But make sure you don’t cross the line into blaming. Use your words carefully and do not talk about their personality. It’s very easy to start talking about other people’s fault during such conversations. Refrain from doing so. If the conversation starts to go in a negative direction, try to end it immediately on a positive note. If you two had communication problems before, it’s a great time to show them that you can talk to each other about relationship problems without getting into an argument.
3. Becoming a Better Ex
If your ex is trying to improve themselves in the areas that could have been responsible for the breakup, then it’s a good sign that they want to get back together. However, this is not really a sure fire sign since this can also mean that they are just working on themselves for their own benefit or for their future relationship.
What You Should Do?
Keep it cool. Don’t get too excited and make any mistakes. If they try to show you how much they’ve improved, congratulate them and continue with the plan. Again, it’s a behavior from your ex that you want to reward, so give them your proper attention and support. However, make sure you don’t go overboard and start showing signs of neediness and insecurity.
4. Their Dating Life
If your ex has been actively trying to hide their dating life from you, then this might be sign that they want to get back together. Unless reconciliation is on their mind, they wouldn’t care about you finding out their dating life.
However, if they’re not dating, don’t take it as a sign that they are waiting for you. It could be that they are enjoying being single and working on moving on from the breakup.
What You Should Do?
Stay out of their personal life. Don’t stalk their Facebook trying to figure out what they are upto. Try to stay away from the gossips about your ex. Even if they are dating someone, you should not try to stop them because it’s probably just a rebound. (Read: How to get your ex back when he has moved on to a new girlfriend or get her back from her new boyfriend.)
Meanwhile, I will also recommend that you go out on a few dates as well. As I explained in this article about the no contact rule, it’s going to give you a much better perspective on life and your relationship.
5. Talking About Good Memories
When your ex starts talking about the good times you had, then it can be a sign that they are thinking about getting back together. It certainly means that they miss you and the fun you had during the relationship.
What You Should Do?
Again, it’s a behaviour you want to reward. You want to keep the conversation positive and you can try to insinuate that you are still that much fun and you still have a great time in your life, even without them. For example, suppose they say something like
“Remember the time we went to that little Mexican Restaurant on Lincoln Street. It was probably the best anniversary dinner we had. I got so drunk that night.”
An appropriate response would be.
“Lol. Yeah, it was a great night. You looked amazing. The waiter couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. In fact, I went to that place just last week with a friend of mine. We had so much fun. There was a Mariachi band this time. Haha.”
The message above rewards her behavior first by complimenting her. And then you insinuate that you are still having that much fun in your life. (Read this detailed guide on texting an ex to learn more about such conversations.)
Again, you have to be careful not to go overboard and act needy and desperate at any time (Read: It’s important having the right mindset after no contact).
Remember, all of these signs, despite some of them being pretty obvious are still just signs. Your ex’s behaviour can be confusing after a breakup. It could be that one minute they are thinking of getting back together and the next they become completely cold. Do not let your ex’s confusing behaviour interfere with your peace of mind. You want your ex, but your happiness and peace of mind is far more important than reconciliation. So always put yourself first.
I highly recommend you read the 5 step plan to get your ex back or this guide on getting your ex girlfriend back with objectives (it’s free) if you haven’t already done so. It will tell you step-by-step what to do get your ex back and keep them permanently. And if you have any questions, leave a comment. I am quite active on this website so you will probably get a reply within 24 hours.