In this article, we will discuss how to tell your ex you miss them. After all, if telling your ex that you miss him or her is just going to make them ghost you, you are probably going to feel terrible about it.

When you tell someone you miss them, you want to hear that they miss you too. And if they don’t say it back, it kind of sucks. It sucks really bad.

So before you tell your ex you miss them, you should figure out whether or not it’s the right time to do so and if you have the right mindset about it. You may miss your ex badly and feel a desperate need to tell them about it. But if it’s not the right time or if you don’t have the right mindset, then you should postpone telling your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend anything indefinitely.

Should I tell my ex I miss him or her?

It depends on why you want to tell your ex that you miss him or her. To keep it simple, if you are telling them that you miss them out of desperation or as an attempt to get something from them (like sympathy, love, affection, or to make them get back with you), then you should not tell your ex that you miss them.

If you want to tell your ex that you miss them because you just want them to know how you feel and you don’t expect anything in return, then it is okay to tell your ex that you miss him/her.


Because when you are telling your ex that you miss them because of desperation or neediness, you are not really missing your ex because of their good qualities or because of the happiness they brought in your life. You are telling your ex you miss them because of your own fear, insecurities, jealousy and the emptiness that they left in your life.

When you tell your ex you miss them out of desperation, you are not really missing them, you are missing a person (any person really) who could take away the desperation you are feeling right now. In a lot of cases, you feel that your ex is the only person who can make you feel better. But that’s not really the case.

Telling your ex, you miss them in this way doesn’t really come off as genuine. Instead, it comes off as a desperate attempt to manipulate your ex to do something that will help you feel less pain.

But when you are telling your ex you miss them out of genuine appreciation for the value they brought in your life and your appreciation for the type of person they are, then you are complimenting your ex. A genuine compliment that they will most probably appreciate and maybe even reciprocate.

When should you tell your ex you miss them?

Keeping the above principle in mind, you should only tell your ex you miss them when you are not needy or desperate.

It’s not advisable to tell your ex you miss them immediately after the breakup or when you are extremely hurt. Because if you are in a desperate state of mind, then you probably shouldn’t be speaking to your ex at all.

If enough time has passed since the breakup, you have healed and become confident again, then it’s probably the right time to tell your ex you miss them. Of course, you should actually miss your ex and you shouldn’t really expect anything in return when you are telling them that.

How To Tell Your Ex That You Miss Him or Her?

The best way to tell your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend that you miss them depends on the situation you are currently in.

Telling Your Ex You Miss Them if the breakup just happened (less than a month ago)

If the breakup just happened and you have not healed from the breakup, then it is not advisable to tell your ex that you miss them. However, it may be a good idea to sneak in the fact that you miss them in a message before starting no contact with your ex. Something like,

“You know, I miss you a lot and the breakup is very difficult. But I know I need to accept this breakup and heal from it. I think we both need some time and space from each other. I hope you understand and I wish you the best.”

Read – What is no contact and how you should start it.

Telling Your Ex That You Miss Them When You Want to Start Talking Again –

If, after the no contact rule is over, you want to start talking to your ex again and maybe try getting back together, then you can tell them that you still miss them. But again, remember the important principles of telling your ex you miss them?

Don’t do it out of desperation. Don’t expect anything in return. Do it for things you genuinely appreciate.

Keeping that in mind, here is a template that you can use to tell your ex you miss them after the no contact period.

“Hey, I know it’s been a while but I wanted to reach out and say that I am glad that I got to know you and we experienced a relationship. I know things didn’t end on a good note but the relationship gave me great memories and I don’t regret it even one bit.

I want to say that I still miss you sometimes and I have respect and admire you as a person and a wonderful human being. How have you been?”

Notice how the message doesn’t really come from a place of desperation? It comes from a place of acceptance, gratitude and appreciation. You are telling your ex you miss them because of the good things

Note, this is just one of the messages you can use to start talking to your ex again, download 5 more sample elephant in the room texts over here.

Telling Your Ex You Miss Them If You Are Already Talking To Them?

The best way to tell your ex you miss them is to sneak it in a conversation with your ex.

Again, remember the main principles when telling your ex you miss them. It’s not to get something in return. It’s not to fill a hole in your life that your ex left. It’s only to show genuine appreciation of the past and the qualities that your ex possesses.

Here are some tips you can follow..

1. Talk about specific things about them that you miss.
2. Talk about a specific feeling that you miss when you were with them.
3. Talk about how you miss doing an activity with them

Again, it’s important to note that you only do this when you are no longer needy or desperate. If you miss your ex badly, then you probably need to do no contact and heal from the breakup before you tell them you miss them in any form.

Here are a few examples on how to sneak in “I Miss You” when you are speaking to your ex..

“That was a crazy hike. Those tourists were absolutely whacky”

“haha. I know. But it was the time I realized how much I admire your people skills. You handled it like a champ. And when you held my arms after that, I felt really safe. Honestly, I really miss that about you. How you always made me feel safe.”

“Geez. Thank you. I honestly miss holding your hands as well.”


“You know I just went to a basketball game with my college friends. And it just didn’t feel the same. I loved having you by my side at the games. The way you got excited is unparalleled. Remember the time you spilled the drink on that old lady? I miss doing stuff like that with you.”


“So, I saw a guy shout at the waiter the other day. And it just reminded me how kind you were to all the people around you. It’s really hard to find the type of kindness you have. Honestly, the hardest part of the breakup was not having that in my life. I really missed you.”

Bonus: How NOT to tell your ex you miss them?

I have been saying this from the beginning but it’s probably important to give you a few examples of what not to say to your ex when you want them to know you miss them. In essence, anything that comes out of neediness or desperation is probably not a good message or text to send your ex. Here are a few examples,

“I miss you a lot. I wish you were here with me.”

“I can’t live without you. I Miss you so much.”

“If you don’t come back, I will never love anyone again. I miss you more than anything in this world.”

“If I can’t be close to you. I’ll settle for the ghost of you. I miss you more than life.”

The last one may or may not be from a Justin Bieber song. Regardless, it’s not a good idea to say something so needy or desperate to an ex.


In most cases, it’s probably not a good idea to tell your ex you miss them. But if you really want to text them “I Miss you” or something along that line, it’s best to do it only when you have a clear mind and you have healed from the breakup. Try not to text your ex out of desperation or neediness. And when you text them, try to be specific about the thing that you miss about them.

If you are thinking about getting back with your ex, take this quiz to find out your chances of getting back together.


I Miss My Ex Badly, What Should I Do?

If you miss your ex badly, it will help to understand why you are missing your ex so badly and what you can do to stop it. Read this article to understand why you are feeling this way and what to do.

If you feel you want your ex back, then look into the following resources…

How To Get Your Ex Back Permanently – 5 Step Plan

Should I Get Back With My Ex – 6 Steps To Find Out

Find Out Your Chances Of Getting Your Ex Back – Interactive Quiz  [ Very Accurate]

Does My Ex Also Miss Me The Way I Miss Him/Her?

If you had a meaningful relationship with your ex, the yes, your ex also probably misses you as much as you miss them. This applies even if your ex was the one who broke up. But if you don’t give your ex enough time and space after the breakup to miss you, they won’t miss you. If you keep calling your ex all the time, they will most likely be irritated by you and not miss you.

Read – 5 Signs Your Ex Misses You

It’s been years since the breakup and I still think about my ex and miss them. Should I tell my ex I miss them?

If you still miss your ex after years, you should probably reach out and speak to them. But make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. Try to understand why you still think about your ex before you reach out to them.

Read – Why Do I Still Think About My Ex?




About Kevin Thompson

Kevin Thompson is a breakup expert and coach with more than 11 years of experience of helping people recover from a breakup and get back in a healthy relationship.

Read Full Profile.

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