Getting an ex back is an uphill battle as it is; but when you know your ex is going to move away soon, it gets exponentially more difficult.
The thought, of losing someone you love forever, intensifies when you hear the news of your ex leaving town. Just the fact that your ex is moving away soon, may cause you to panic, become desperate, needy or insecure.
So what do you do when your ex is leaving town soon and there is nothing you can do to stop them?
In this article, I’ll cover almost everything you need to know about getting an ex back in this situation. And as with all my other articles, we must start with the 5 step plan.
The 5 Step plan is a simple step by step system that I have developed to help anyone get their ex back. It’s wildly popular on the internet and it has been proven to be effective time and time again. And yes, it’s free, you can read it here.
Once you have read the Ex Back Permanently – 5 step Plan or This Guide On Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back, come back to this page. This article will assume that you have already read the the best guide on the internet on getting your ex back and know the basics of getting an ex back.
OK, let’s begin.
Step #1 Understanding Your Panic
The first step to getting an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend back who is soon moving away, is to not to panic. When you panic, you are bound to make one of the deadly mistakes I outlined in the 5 Step Plan.
And the best way to not panic, is to understand your state of panic and reassuring yourself that it’s not real.
So, let’s start with a few questions you must ask yourself..
Why are you panicking?
Because my ex is moving away soon.
How does that effect you?
I am still in love with my ex and want to get back together.
How does them moving away effect what you want?
I am afraid that they will completely forget about me and move on. I don’t know what will happen now.
Are you a hundred percent sure that them moving away means you two will never get back together?
I guess not. I think there is still a chance.
Are you a hundred percent sure that if they stay in the same town as you, you two will get back together?
I guess not. I think there’s always a chance we will not get back together.
You see, no matter where your ex is, you are still fighting an uphill battle. It just gets more difficult when your ex is in another town. But, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t still get your ex back. If you follow the basic steps of getting an ex back, you still have a pretty decent chance of getting him/her back.
Your Panicked Mind
Before we move on to the next step, I want you to acknowledge how silly your mind is being right now.
First of all, it’s assuming that your ex still belongs to you, even though you have broken up.
Secondly, it’s panicking because it thinks that you are going to lose someone very special to you (even though you have already lost your ex since you have already broken up).
Third and most importantly, even if you were going to lose someone special within a matter of few days, it’s not going to be the end of the world. Even if your ex ends up in another relationship, you will still have your health, your family, your friends, your career, your goals, your aspirations, your desires and your passions. You will still have your identity. And even though it may suck to lose someone special to you, you are still going to go on to live a happy and fulfilling life.
The Deadly Mistakes
It’s worth mentioning again that you must not make any of the mistakes mentioned in the 5 Step Plan. It’s the first and most basic step in getting an ex back and it does not change even if your ex moving away soon.
Step 2 No Contact
When your ex is moving away soon, then you might be tempted to break no contact early and go out on date with him/her as soon as possible. It sounds like a reasonable thing to do. After all, if you are able to show your ex the new and awesome version of you (You Version 2.0), then you might be able to convince them to get back together and agree to be in a long distance relationship.
But there is only one problem, trying to rush things will make you look needy and desperate. And that will definitely push your ex away.
So what should you do?
If your ex is moving away at least one month from today, then you are golden. Just do no contact for a month, contact them once it’s over and hopefully you will be able to get that date to make a lasting impression.
If your ex is moving away sooner than that, then you may have to compromise a little. You can do as much no contact as time permits you and try contacting them one week before they are moving away. For example, if they are moving away three weeks from now, then do two weeks of no contact and contact them at the starting of the third week.
This will ensure that you do get to make some positive changes in yourself and get to meet your ex before you meet them.
What if they are moving away within a week?
In this case, you have two choices.
- Start no contact right now and don’t meet them before they leave.
- Meet them before they leave, and start no contact once they have left.
What if they refuse to meet you?
The first and most important rule of getting an ex back is to not look needy and desperate. If they refuse to meetup, then let them know that it’s cool and you wish them best wherever they are. Say your farewell and start no contact again. You can still try again after another round of no contact as long as you don’t mess it up by acting needy or desperate.
Step 3 – The Meetup
First impression might be important but in most cases the last impression you have on someone lasts forever. This might be the last impression you ever get to make on your ex, so make it count. Don’t look needy or desperate, but don’t be fake either. Be honest and be real. Try to re-spark the attraction, connection and trust your ex had for you when you were together.
Here’s what I mean.
Suppose your ex brings up the topic of you two never meeting again (or not seeing each other for a long time). Being needy or desperate will prompt a reaction that goes something like this.
– Start crying uncontrollably.
– Start convincing them to get back together.
– Start negotiating with them about everything you can do to make the relationship work.
– Doing any of the deadly mistakes mentioned in the 5 step plan.
On the other end of the spectrum, here is something that a person who is trying to “fake it” will do.
– Say that they are cool about it.
– Change the topic and start talking about how amazing everything is in their life.
– Try to make them jealous by bringing up another potential love interest.
And lastly we have someone who is secure in themselves, but is also honest and vulnerable.
– Tells them calmly that they are sad about them leaving.
– Says something like “There is a part of me that wishes we were still together. But I know that’s not the reality and perhaps it is for the best that we have broken up.”
– Or “I hope that we can be a part of each other’s life in the future, at least as friends. I value you and respect you as a person and I definitely appreciate that you were at some point, a big part of my life.”
Got the idea?
Good. Because this is just the beginning. Now you get to the real work. That means now you get to start rebuilding the attraction, connection and trust with your ex all over again.
Step 4 Once They Move Away
Once your ex has moved away, you need to decide your next course of action carefully.
Do No Contact Again
If your last meeting with your ex didn’t go as planned, or if you weren’t able to do enough no contact because of time constraint, then you must start no contact again. Do it at least for two weeks and make sure you work on improving your communication skills during those two weeks.
From now on, good communication skills are your biggest weapons in this uphill battle.
You need to make your ex feel like you really understand them, and they can share everything with you. You also need to make them feel like they understand you in a way no one else does. You need to develop an amazing connection with them that makes them want to get back together, even if means a long distance relationship (more on how to develop those skills at the end of this article).
In fact, it’s always a good idea to do no contact for at least two weeks once your ex moves away. This is because they will probably be busy settling down or exploring the new city for a couple of weeks after they move. Once they settle down, they are going to have a lot more free-time on their hands and will be more open to talking to someone they are familiar with.
Get Back in Touch with Them
When you get back in touch them, you need to be as casual as possible, and build it up from there. If your ex moved away after the breakup, then I don’t recommend you send them a “Hand-Written Letter” mentioned in the 5 Step Plan. Instead, I recommend you use one of the texts to start contact.
Once you and your ex are talking again on a regular basis, you must start getting closer and closer to them using good communication skills and empathy. You can also use social media to increase their attraction towards you at this time. But more than attraction, you must work on connection and trust between you and your ex.
Once you and your ex have reached a point where you both speak to each other almost every day or at least three times a week, then you must start thinking about meeting up.
This might be tricky because you stay in different cities. But it’s not so difficult if you plan things ahead. The meetup can be categorized in two categories.
The Casual Meetup
As the name suggests, this should be as casual as possible. You can do this if your ex is back in town for some business or family. When they are back you can just ask them casually to hang out, and if you have built even a little bit of connection with them, they should say yes.
You can also arrange a casual meetup by planning a visit to their town. You can tell them you are visiting a music concert, an art show, a business seminar, a group event or you are just traveling with friends. Let them know that you will be in town for a while and you will love to catch up with them.
The Intentional Meetup
This is a big one. Because if you and your ex decide to go through the trouble of traveling to another city, just to meet each other, then it means things are getting serious. The only time you should propose something like this if you feel you and your ex have developed a deep connection and it’s worth pursuing further.
Note, I am not just talking about how you feel about your ex. I am talking about how your ex feels towards you as well. Do they call you almost every day? Can you sense in their tone that they are very comfortable with you and perhaps even attached to you? Can you sense some jealousy when you talk about your friends of opposite sex? Are you both in a stage where you can comfortable to share anything with each other over the phone?
If any of those things ring true to you, then there’s a good chance you both have developed a good connection and it might be pursuing further. But don’t just plan something just yet. Test the waters first. A good way of testing the waters is by arranging a casual meetup.
Once you have done that, and you still can’t figure out if you should arrange an intentional meetup, then simply say this in your conversation.
“I have such an amazing time chatting with you on the phone. I wish we could meetup and hangout. But it sucks that you are far away.”
Their reaction to this sentence will probably give you a good idea about where they stand and whether or not an intentional meetup is the way to go.
Step 5 – The Skills That Make All the Difference
This plan relies on the fact that you are capable of rebuilding the attraction, connection and trust with your ex, using only the words come out of your mouth (or that you type on your phone). It might be pretty daunting at first look, but in reality, it’s easy to learn and implement. I teach those skills in my online course The EBP Advanced System which is a paid course. In the course, I also include a bonus guide to help you develop and maintain a long distance relationship with an ex. You can check it out here.
I also offer a free e-course that will help you tremendously in the process of getting your ex back. Here’s what you will get in this free e-course..
– How to handle the no contact without messing up
– How to stop panicking instantly and regain your composure
– How to initiate contact after no contact period
– How to get the most out of your date with your ex
– One helpful, inspiring, amazing email every day to help you get through the entire process of getting back together.
I have had amazing reviews about this e-course from broken-hearted people all over the world. It’s free and you can unsubscribe anytime you want. To subscribe, just take this by clicking here.
Here is one of the many testimonials I got from my subscribers.
“When I first started to read your emails, I must be honest I thought they were all absolute rubbish. However, I had nothing to lose so decided to put them to the test. Well to cut a long story short, not only have I turned him around, EVERY BIT OF YOUR ADVICE WORKS. Just please keep emphasizing to every one, it takes time but it does work. Being patient is important. Mr ” I don’t show my feelings” actually told me last night that he cared about me and was actually falling in love with me.Now, I got him back.” – Hayley
You have absolutely nothing to lose. If you don’t like the email series, you can unsubscribe at any time you want. I won’t hold it against you. 🙂
Hey, my boyfriend and I (of 1 year) broke up as he is moving to another country to study and hopefully work and doesn’t want to do long distance because he’s done it before unsuccessfully and it was too hard and he doesn’t know when he’s returning home. I told him I would be prepared to move at some stage with him but he said he needed to do this on his own. We tried to keep seeing each other until he left but it got too hard and he told me that he needed space and time to think because it was too upsetting for him to see me given he’s leaving.That was a few weeks ago and he leaves next week. I’ve not contacted him in that time and he hasn’t contacted me. I don’t know if I should try to see him before he leaves or respect his wish for space. He did see we’d see each other before he left but he hasn’t contacted me about that. Should I try to arrange to see him
Before he goes or leave it with a simple text wishing him luck the day he leaves? I know I cant change his mind but I hope that he’ll realise when he’s gone what he’s giving up and try to make it work.
He might realize it after he's gone, but if his feelings towards LDR is strong enough, he would resist the urge of contacting you still. It seems that the best chance you have of making things work is if you actually plan to move at some point as well but perhaps meeting him up several times before that and even being on friendly terms first would be better.
Hi Ryan, thanks for your reply. I ended up reaching out to him before he left and we met up to say goodbye. It was bittersweet, we both spoke of how happy we had been together and how sad it was over but he said it was where he was at in his life. He’s now left and said we would stay in contact. Do I message him or wait for him to contact me?
It would be better to wait for him, but if he still doesn't text after 2 weeks, perhaps you could always drop in with a casual text.
My ex broke up with me about 7 weeks ago. There was no infidelity involved, just poor communication. I acted crazy and desperate the first couple of weeks, then I didn't contact him for 4 weeks. He tired to contact me once during that time, I did not respond. He contacted me at the end of 4 weeks saying "I know it's crappy of me, but I'm sorry and I miss you." I asked if he was serious, he answered that he was and that he'd love to see me that weekend (this was a Thursday). Again I asked if he was sure, he responded "Of course I'm sure. I would say today or tomorrow, but I'm in Florida, I'm leaving today, driving." I agreed to meet him before 2:00 pm that Saturday. Come Saturday at 3:00 pm I had not heard from him. I contacted him and asked what happened. He said he got busy and forgot about meeting. I was hurt to be forgotten like that, he was the one who reached out to me. I agreed to meet him the next evening on Sunday. He was quiet and distant. I tried to end the meeting by leaving but he would pull me back. I was so confused. He then told me he had a job offer in another state 1,000 miles away from where we currently live and he had to give them an answer by the next day. I asked if he was really considering taking it. He answered in the affirmative. The next day he told me he accepted the job and would be moving in 3 weeks. I'm an emotional wreck again and i have started acting crazy and desperate again. He won't give me straight answers as to why he contacted me in the first place, or if he still loves me, or if its completely over. He say he doesn't know the answers and that he feels 'lost.' Now I feel lost and I don't know what to do. He will be moving in a week. Can you give me any guidance?
Perhaps the thought of actually leaving the city to a different state for work felt a lot more real to him, and caused him to think of you, but is unsure himself on how he feels. Part of him probably wants to take the opportunity but another part may have been thinking of you. However, you shouldn't stop him from taking the job especially if it's something that will benefit him and his career or he might end up resenting you later on. You should also keep in mind that if he does go, a long distance relationship requires much patience and assurance from both parties, so you'll have to figure out if it's something you are keen to explore.
Hello I really love reading this ! It has given me some insight. I've been on and off with my ex for four years, and an engagement last year and now broken up 2 months after. He's always the one leaving bc that's his escape. We have 2 kids a 1 year old and 2 month old. He's messed my trust up really bad from cheating and lying but not the year of our engagement he FINALLY did everything that was right but left bc he said I didn't make him feel as a man and I was constantly nagging and accusing. I'm always the needy one , always the one begging. What do I do now and how do I have no contact with two small children involved? I feel as though my heart has been tore out of my chest. And yes, he's already talking to other females, having sex and hanging out. But it never is just one female or a "relationship".
After years of cheating, I think your nagging and accusing is justified. He can't expect you to forget everything about the past when he is doing everything right. There is a proper way to heal from cheating and lying and rebuild trust. It doesn't look you both had any idea how to rebuild trust after he had broken it several times. Nevertheless, read this article to learn how to do no contact when you have children involved.
Hey Mr. Kevin,
I am on the verge of giving up completely. I love my ex with everything I possibly ever could. I gave her 3 years of my life, and stayed with her and helped her through so many things, that most guys would have given up and walked out on. But now that she has left me, when I was going through a tough point in my life, she has slept with 3 other guys, and has blocked me on everything. I have not tried to contact her since the first week of the break up. It has been about a month and 1 or 2 weeks since she has left. My sister has talked to her numerous times, considering they are best friends, and each time my ex would just tell her she wasn't sure whether we would get back together or not. Last night my sister said something to her and my ex replied we will never get back together and I don't love him. This really hit home with me, and I am really wondering, what should I do at this point? Should I still continue to hope for a relationship with her? Or should I give up completely? I will continue to love her till the day I day, but I'm tired of feeling like she doesn't care and I'm tired of sitting here wondering if there ever will be a chance. So in your opinion, what should I do here?
Hi kevin..am going through total heartbreak..am in love with him since 2014..now he broke up because his family rejected me..and giving him lot of difficulties..he is very depressed since 2 month we are not talking..everyday i send him msg...I cry but he dont care at all..he has new friends..and a girl which he is a.bit close..works together..now he told me to.stay like friends..till I stand up on my feet and build my career..please I want him.back as a lover..i miss him so.much..i cant do.anything.. how will I focus on my career..when I call him..he get frustrated and start yelling at me..he ignore me..we dont even talk well..he is very depresed but am.scared to lose him.permanetly..please suggest me something so.thay he come back in my.life please
Hi Kevin,and what if she doesn't call or text during the no contact period.. and also what if she gives a reason for not going to be able to meet you after the no contact period??
i had break up 1 week before with my boyfriend after only a month relationship.
i met him on my work station. he purpose me 1st on 13 feb.he was calling me too much in the begning and then slowly he statered ignoing me and said he is in some problems. after some days i got angry as i could see the changes and broke up as he was not giving me time at all i was the one who was texting him.last date he was very happy when he left. but i dont know what happen after.
Im ashlesha grom india. I recently had a break up with my boyfriend for no miatake of mine. He atopped talking to me completely because his fmily got to know about us nd he cud not take stand for me but was ok leaving me. Its been almost 2months now and he still didnt feel like tlling to me. I am completly destroyed and lost all confidence in myself
I could not work hence left job and tried suicide everytging but nothing helped. I try to contact him everyday however he has blocked me everywhere phone wats app facebook and hve no means of communiction. I love him a lot and he does too but he cant face his family as they r muslims and different culture altogether. He is doing all this just for his family thou i know he loves me a lot. I want to live with him and b his. What do i do? I dont know?
Hi Kevin, me and my ex boyfriend just broke up after he wanted to be on break. He said he needed space and time and I was being impatience about it and was totally being needy, but now we are finally get over it and decided to actually breaking up. Before that he said he doesn't feel loving me anymore, I texted him too much, and said his life is so much better without me. I'm working on getting my mind together and enjoy my life more now, and I'm just wondering if a month or 2 months from now I decide that I want to contact him again, do you think I will have a chance to win him back? If his life at that point is so great for him, you think he would wants me back in his life? I know for the fact that I should change from all the mistakes I did, but will there any or a slightly chance? Thank you. Your article is amazing.
Hey Kevin, I broke up with my girl around a year and a half back, to be honest I never knew this would be my condition after that, I am shaken, broken & in too much of pain. I did all those mistakes that you've written in your article. We chat regularly, but It is just me who texts her. She says she's moved on and has no feelings for me & one of her best friends who is also hitting hard on her is taking all the efforts to separate us. I don't know what to do. Its been more thn 18 months and my life has stopped there itself. Please help