Here’s what a reader, named Clara, recently emailed me –
“Kevin, I’ve been to 17 psychics and they all said that my ex will come back. How is it possible that they all came to the same conclusion? Do you think they are telling the truth?”
Clara, unfortunately, psychics should not be taken seriously. They are mostly there for fun. And while they can be sometimes helpful or insightful, they can often give false hope and may even be dangerous. Since there is no governing body or any standardized tests, anyone can claim to be a psychic.
And just to give you an example, I’ve known psychics to give terrible advice such as – telling a 50 year old divorced woman that she will meet someone and have a child with them (which was medically impossible for her), telling a salaried person to not be jealous of his brother’s business success (whose brother was also salaried), and telling a victim of narcissistic abuse that their ex will come back and treat them right (which narcissist almost never do).
Let’s start with science. There is no scientific research that proves that psychic powers are real. And it’s not for lack of trying. A branch of science called Parapsychology has been trying to prove psychic abilities for almost 150 years now and they have always been unsuccessful.[1][2]
But you may still want to believe in psychics, clairvoyants, or tarot readings because it’s a belief that’s passed down from generations. And it’s completely okay to want to believe in them.
But, it may be a good idea to educate yourself on the science of breakups and the way the human mind works before you choose to believe in a psychic.
Why You Want Your Ex To Come Back
Unwanted breakups are one of the most painful experiences in one’s life. One study compared it to drug withdrawal since it activates the same part of the brain that is activated during drug withdrawal.[3]
But I like to compare it to a child being abandoned by their parents. The child would hope and do anything to get their parents back. Because for a child’s mind, their survival depends on that connection.
Our brains are primal. And as such, we also feel like we can’t live without someone who we were so attached to for so long. So we want to hope they will come back.
But that’s simply not true. Our minds heal and the attachment usually fades away. Yes, it takes a lot of time. For me personally, it took about a year before I could allow myself to fall in love again. But for others it can take less or more time.[4]
Everyone is different. And so is every situation. Unfortunately, almost everyone wants to hear that their ex will come back. And that’s where psychics come in with the hopium…
Psychics say what you want to hear
Most psychics say what you want to hear. If you are going to them after a breakup, they will try to give you the hope of your ex coming back. Because they know that’s what your mind wants to hear.
Yes, not all psychics do this and some may even believe in their clairvoyant abilities (which again has no scientific proof), but the majority of psychics are in it for the money.
This is why every psychic Clara went to came to the same conclusion of her ex coming back. She either told them that she went through a breakup or they sensed it with the way she was dressed, her body language, her clothes, or the fact that she was probably crying just a few minutes ago.
So be wary of anything a psychic says. Especially if it feels like what they are saying is something you always wanted to hear.
And even if you do find a psychic who is not trying to scam you, chances are, they won’t tell you anything that a therapist or a coach can’t do better.
The only difference is that the psychic will wrap the lesson up in hope and spirituality. And after years of opposing psychics, I think that’s the approach that some people need – healthy advice wrapped in spirituality.
When can a Psychic Help?
If you want to visit a psychic or take advice from a psychic, I encourage you to keep a skeptical mind while going inside. Use science backed knowledge as a sidekick while you are letting spirituality guide you. And hopefully, both science and spirituality will align with each other.
But if it doesn’t, I encourage you to choose science, healthy mindset, and psychology over something that feels too good to be true.
In terms of an ex coming back, this means accepting that no one can predict whether or not your ex will ever come back. But you can focus on healing, give each other space and time, becoming a better version of yourself and moving forward in your life regardless if they come back. And if time comes, communicate honestly with confidence. A lot of times, that itself leads to getting back together.
And even if it doesn’t, know that you are still going to be okay, you will still move on from them, and you will still find someone who treats you with the respect and admiration you deserve.
Recommended Reading – How To Get Your Ex Back Permanently – 5 Step Plan
Recommended Quiz – Will My Ex Come Back Quiz?
